Bonanza

Mark Steyn on 30 years of Star Wars

When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says:

‘You’re so …beautiful.’

‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.

‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.

Scootie-Puff Junior


Leave your dignity at home when you travel to Vegas.

In increasing numbers, Las Vegas tourists exhausted by the four miles of gluttony laid out before them are getting around on electric “mobility scooters.”

Don’t think trendy Vespa motorbikes. Think updated wheelchairs.

Forking over about $40 a day and their pride, apparently healthy tourists are cruising around Las Vegas casinos in transportation intended for the infirm.

Babymakers


MacLeans addresses Canada’s baby deficit:

They’re fit. And rich. Mary Hart would say they positively glow. They’re never strained for time or help, and their kids look like they’re out of a Polo ad. They are celebrity moms — Gwen, Reese, Gwyneth, Katie — and they’re the reason $12 California Baby massage oils, $95 “Mummy and Me” reflexology treatments, and $1,200 Bugaboo strollers have come to seem not wholly unreasonable for a family of average means.

Kid Nation

Wow! Just….Wow! “Lord of the Flies” meets reality TV.

CBS’ new reality show, “Kid Nation,” will feature 40 kids, ages 8-15, who have 40 days to create a new town – over which they’ll govern without any adult supervision.

CBS tiptoes around comparisons to “Lord of the Flies,” but the set-up sounds undeniably similar to the classic William Golding novel about a group of shipwrecked school kids who form their own society on a deserted island – and eventually turn into savages.

The kids on the CBS show are plunked down in a ghost town, Bonanza City, N.M., without any amenities or grown ups. They’ll cook their own meals, empty their own latrine and even run their own businesses (no alcohol in the saloon, just root beer).

An Appeal To The Ladies Or The Gays

Newboots-1Attention ladies or gays: I need new fucking boots!!! I don’t know where to find some and shopping for shoes in this city is only good if you want to look like Mr. Asshole-Feet. Either that or I just don’t know where to shop for guy’s shoes that aren’t sneakers. Of course were I a lady I’d be sorted as for every 1000 women’s shoes stores there’s 1 dimly-lit men’s shoe store. But I don’t know where to find it. Anyways, here’s the deal.

I am looking for boots like the ones in the image in either brown or black. My budget is under $500. Preferably well under. Gravity Pope has a really, really fucking nice pair of $700 Paul Smith boots but I’m not that fucking rich. So ladies or gays, any idea where I can find a pair that will not bust my wallet but will make me look totally awesome? Any idea at all? I need your help. Please. Pretty please.