My kind of people and assholes.

And yes, September 1st is my birthday. I’m dealing with it the best I can.

Seeing as my burgeoning music career pretty much went bust last evening a friend and I came up with a few ideas of making money abroad. We knew that we liked Tokyo and that we had to use whatever god-given skills we have. Teaching English isn’t one of those skills. We finally came up with the idea of becoming personal escorts to the young, rich elite. We carefully worded the ad as to attract attention but also were very much talking out our ass. We would have placed the ad tonight but it will cost us upwards of $150 each to do it. So we’re waiting until next payday until our plan finally goes into action. Then again, we could have chosen an equally as rewarding but different line of work.

I will be playing this evening at Campoverde Sux:
2763 W. 7th (at MacDonald) in Vancouver. 8PM $5
I will make you cry.

Most fetishes I can understand even if I don’t necessarily subscribe to them. But abusing shoes is a new one to me. I suppose it stems from a foot fetish or something. And more obviously, it’s a male fetish because all classy ladies I know would never, ever under any circumstances ruin a good pair of heels by their own recognizance.

Shiina Ringo completely upped the ante with her latest album Karuki Zamen Kuri No Hana. An album which has more or less been on repeat all week for me. Here’s a song called Le Salle De Bain. It’s a B-side from her Ringo No Uta single released in late 2003. This song alone shows some of the most creative orchestra arrangements I’ve herd in a pop song. Often times artists tack on an orchestra during production or live to add some sort of artistic credibility. And often forgetting that an orchestra is not just a string section. In this song, the orchestra is the fucking band as there’s no traditional rock instrument at all.

I can’t recommend Karuki Zamen Kuri No Hana enough as it’s the best album I’ve heard in recent memory and certainly shows those mopey, sweater-wearing, book-quoting, indie-lightwieghts Belle & Sebastian what real production values are.

Women and guns. Chocolate and peanut butter. Things that go great together. Meet the ladies of Women Hunters. They are sweet, sassy, and can handle a rifle like nobody’s business. Who’s your favourite? I can’t help but be drawn in by the subtle smile of Brenda Valentine.

Your lascivious touches have lighted up a new fire that wanton’d through all my veins!

At Governor Swartzeneggers’s request California is having a state-wide garage sale on Friday and Saturday. If you can’t make it there, visit their sale online. Where else would you be able to buy 30 pounds of scissors.

Male and female relationships be they platonic or romantic have always been a pain in the ass as neither party is aware of where they stand in the eyes of the other person. Thankfully someone has managed to come with a theory that seems to make perfect sense.

The Ladder Theory is based on the premise that men are fundamentally single-minded creatures who want to fuck every woman they see to varying degrees with their ladder representing how much they want to screw. Women have a two-ladder system; one the friends ladder and the other being the real ladder. The problem of course being that often times men don’t which ladder they’re on and if they try to make a move from the friends ladder to the real ladder they fail and fall into the abyss. I’ve spent some time there myself. It’s not nice.

This is a simplistic explanation of motives, consequences and manifestations of male and female interpersonal relationships but certainly falls within my own experiences. Then again, maybe I should get out more.

Why? Why do actors and actresses continue to think they can sing. It’s bad enough hearing a Kathy Lee Gifford album but Edward Furlong. He can barely even hold a tune for fucks sake. Of course there are exceptions to every rule in the case of the absolutely beguiling Julie Delpy.