Cats in sinks. It really doesn’t get much more self-explanatory than that.

I love birthdays. Especially when they’re mine. Okay, sure it’s not until Thursday and I won’t be celebrating until this weekend but it’s still nice to be thought of once a year. Those who didn’t get my invite by email here it is. The only thing that I could wish for besides of course for all my debts to be absolved is to have a birthday party as good as this one. What more could I ask for?

Through the use of modern technology, precious moments have been able to be captured on film; a childs first steps, graduation day, marriage, and crazy-ass motherfucking cats leaping through the air ready to claw out your eyeballs.

Incorrect. The correct spelling of Flashcube.org is T-O-T-A-L-L-Y-F-U-C-K-I-N-G-A-W-E-S-O-M-E

The month is nearly over and I’ve completely forgotten to mention that August is Anal Sex Month. Who fucking knew?! If it’s your thing then you’ve only a few days left to get some backdoor action under the pretense of being in a celebratory mood. Don’t fret though if you don’t like assfucking because once the weather shapes up you can always put on some music and go for a pleasant bike ride.

Kanye West meets The Beach Boys and zombie Carl and Dennis Wilson return to enact their revenge. Brian pulls the covers over his head for another decade.

If you’re looking to fall asleep in an airport because of lengthy stopovers of just for kicks it’s good to get a grasp on what you’ve in store.

I’m actually quite surprised at the amount of celebrities available on the Paper Doll Heaven website. Who wouldn’t want to dress up Conan O’ Brien or apply make-up to Kelly Osbourne?

I’m not a slut. No, really. But if I was I’d feel safer knowing that I was registered at the Slut Registry where I would be able to meet like-minded sluts from around the world. Come to think of it some of most favourite acquaintances are sluts and they are the most entertaining folks I know. There’s a common misconception that all it takes to be a slut are a penchant for excess and a ravenous sexual appetite but from what I can tell there’s a lot more to it. For one you always have to be the life of the party so there’s no time to be introverted. I remember listening fascinated to the stories my favourite sluts tell. There’s nothing better. I’m no slut but I sure can appreciate them on a purely platonic level. And if you’re looking for a good time (no, not a “good time”) try being wingman for a slut for one night. Not only will you get to meet new and interesting people you can try and guess which one will be pounding your slut friend by the end of the night.

Who knew? Apparantly in 1997 John Lydon appeared on an episode of Judge Judy when his drummer walked out on him before a tour. The clip can be viewed at John’s site.